the Future

Well this is how it begins for me on here. Although the title of my blog is just something Seth and I occasionally yell(through texts and facebook chats) at each other I think it has significance in this, that is, my first blog(on here). I couldn't have started this at a better time because I have the craziest ideas swirling around inside this head of mine.

I was sitting and watching a video about God's plan for us during our college group meeting tonight. It's weird how so often you hear something in a sermon, or in this case a video, that directly relates to something you have been struggling with. After the video Tyler, our leader, was asking questions. One of them was, if you could ask God for one thing, what would it be? Honestly, at the time, all I could think of were material possessions. Cars, money, a hot wife, etc. Later on something else he said triggered something. Something that I've wanted for two years now, healing. Sounds simple, right? Well it's not. I'm not talking about the cold or flu or even a flesh wound. I'm talking about something that no thing can heal.

For two years I've had to deal with taking pills daily, watching my diet, and worrying about every ache and pain in my body, hoping and praying that it's not another blood clot. You see, for what I have there is no cure. The only sense of health I have is that it's manageable. I can take a pill and be alright but that only means that I've postponed the chance of another blood clot. What I want more than anything else in this entire world is a cure not just a temporary fix.

Some could say drugs or alcohol offer a chance to escape my reality. I've learned that these things are also just temporary and fleeting. They only hide the fact that in the end I am imperfect. But there is one thing I have that will never let me down. And that is HOPE. The hope that I have eternity promised to me with my God and Father in heaven. HEAVEN, the place where we are no longer sick, no longer imperfect. We are healed and redeemed by the unwavering power of Christ's blood shed on the cross! In Christ I have found my cure.

Well I could end there on that high note but alas, this one is titled the Future.

So what does my future hold. I have no idea. In fact before I started typing there is no way I could've told you I was going to write all the stuff up til this point. My plan was to just share the crazy ideas I'm having.

First off. School. I hate it. I don't just mean the busy work. I mean learning. My brain has sealed itself up. I can still learn but almost nothing in my classes seems to be leading me anywhere. Garbage in, garbage out. Sounds pretty ignorant I know but the fact is that I feel like the things God wants me to know can't be taught in a classroom. I can tell you that this thought has a lot to do with the fact that I have no idea what it is I want to get out of my education. No real goal. I've tried business and I've tried history but I find no satisfaction in them even though I thought they would be something I would enjoy. The only person I've talked to about this is Seth, my fellow world conqueror. Recently I've been giving serious considerations to the construction industry. Even I think it's crazy. I love working with my hands and there is no greater satisfaction in my life than when I complete a project and I can watch it fulfill it's purpose.

Next. Girls. Yep. I feel like everyone around me doubts that I'm trying to find one for me. You know. I'm quiet. I don't talk to anyone a lot. Well believe me. I find myself struggling daily to keep my mind off certain girls in my life. It's kinda strange but I go through cycles. I thought one girl was really special about a year ago and then another girl who was in the picture before her seemed to make her way in again and then, somehow I've ended up where I was a year ago. Some other girls swerve in and out. You're all still my friends.

And then. Relationships. I can't do it. Yet... I know that spiritually I'm not ready. There are issues in my life that I feel I need to get resolved between God and I before I should start anything. Honestly I believe that. I'm not ready. I feel like a lot of my friends charge into relationships that aren't going to be healthy. They do it because it sounded like a good idea at the time, or they were trying to get to one of their friends, or my personal favorite, because they were just dumped. Those aren't the only relationships that I find are crazy but those are the ones I can think of. I know it's really easy for me to stand back and judge them and I know that's it's really hard for you, standing on the verge, to see what I see. Slow down. Ask yourself(as often as possible) why am I doing this? I know that the answer for everyone would be different but I think that the best answers would be the God honoring ones. So there's my two cents.

Finally. Politics. I know I don't have any control of this. Barack Obama will make a great president. John McCain will make a great president. But which one is the right president? I don't know... you don't know(truthfully). God knows.

God wills it!!!